


Each Morning I Get Up, I Die A Little

by 1f_this_be_madness



Series: Beyond the Rhapsody [5]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF, Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Banter, Bri and Rog are protective dads, Brotherly Love, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Declarations Of Love, Drama, Epic Friendship, Filming, Films, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Gwilym Lee Is a Sweetheart, Hugs, I Don't Even Know, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Innuendo, Insurance companies are crazy so there may be a couple of innacuracies guys, Major Illness, Medical, Panic, Phone Calls & Telephones, Platonic Kissing, Sick Character, Sobbing, Swearing, Terminal Illnesses, The boys take care of Joe, What Have I Done, What-If, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-13 01:24:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21486034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1f_this_be_madness/pseuds/1f_this_be_madness
Summary: When you're focused on helping someone else, anyone else, everyone else - sometimes you forget to let people help you.Joe Mazzello is learning how to remember this the hard way.(Or, a companion piece to "Sends Shivers Down My Spine, Body's Aching All the Time" where Joe is sick and people, including he himself, are worrying)
Relationships: Ben Hardy & Gwilym Lee & Rami Malek, Ben Hardy & Gwilym Lee & Rami Malek & Joe Mazzello, Ben Hardy & Joe Mazzello, Ben Hardy & Roger Taylor, Brian May & Roger Taylor, Gwilym Lee & Brian May, Gwilym Lee & Joe Mazzello, Gwilym Lee & Rami Malek & Joe Mazzello, John Deacon & Brian May & Freddie Mercury & Roger Taylor, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Rami Malek & Brian May, Rami Malek & Roger Taylor
Series: Beyond the Rhapsody [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1390516
Comments: 80
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

The few moments in Joe's trailer stretch into hours because Joe falls asleep on Ben's chest, his hair all tufty and sticking up strangely underneath the wig the others carefully ease off. Gwil had gotten a glare from the wardrobe lady who came to retrieve wig and costume, but she instantly softens --when he leans out of the trailer, necklace and torso swaying forward, his open shirt showing shivers travelling up and down his body-- as she catches sight of Joe through the doorway behind Gwilym and inquires "...How is he? What happened, was it sudden?"

Gwilym Lee chokes on words, on feeling. The way Joe sounds when he breathes, it is ragged and deeply caught, like he's dragging stale air through pockets in his lungs. Like he's drowning in mucus and agonising pain... God, Gwil, stop it. "I-- we don't know," he says. "But he looks --it seems like he's been feeling poorly for a bit." _A while,_ thinks Gwil. Joe is incredibly strong and buoyant, he's out here living his best life to make other people happy, and he does a helluva job. But sometimes his friend gets the sense he's not letting himself feel other feelings, like the fact that working on this film is stressful; they're under an enormous amount of pressure even if it's pressure from themselves. They want to do right by Queen and by Freddie, and added to that is another layer, for Rami and for Joe--they haven't got direct access to the men they're playing. Oh, sure, they have interviews and concert videos and all, but he and Ben have Bri and Rog, they get words straight from the rockstar's mouth, so to speak--and that fact makes a world of difference.

As does how Joe feels about his father and his family, the worries that Gwil cannot comprehend as someone who isn't in Joe's shoes. But he can sympathize, and his chest clenches as he bids farewell to the costumer who takes Joe's outfit to deep clean and promises to return for theirs. Just in case. That makes Gwil think of Joe's dad, and what his family might have to do for him in his illness. And then of course..., his thoughts cut off and body jerks as Joe's phone rings.

"Gwil!" Rami calls.

Ben is fumbling for the phone as Gwilym ducks back into the trailer and they see the call from Joe's mother. They FaceTime every evening so he can talk about the day and see his father, and it's a private thing for certain. Even as the lads all know about it happening. Ben's eyes are wide and he shrugs one shoulder helplessly as Rami asks "What are we going to do?"

"Dunno," Ben licks his lips and holds the phone away from Joe so the sound isn't loud enough to wake him. Hopefully. "He's out, lads."

"For the count," Gwil says, nodding. And then he runs a hand across his smooth cheeks. "I-- dunno that it's our place, but I feel like his mum would probably be more worried if he didn't answer at all than if we picked up and told her he was sick. What d'you think, Rami?"

Gwil glances at Rami, who takes the phone from Ben gently and nods. "I know Virginia, and yes, I think you're right," he says. His lips tremble as he leans over and pushes back Joe's dark hair with one hand as Mazzello heaves a breath. "I just don't know that I can rustle up a smile."

Ben shakes his head and holds Joe even closer. "Me either."

Gwil's face softens as he gazes at them both and then at a sleeping Joe. Holds out his hand for the phone. "Alright, I will." Rami passes it and Gwil slides the button onscreen to answer, smiling warmly from underneath his Brian May hair. "Evening, Mrs. Mazzello."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves, I was asked to write a companion piece where Joe is ill. This is gonna be tough but I'll do my best. There is a line I know that I must walk, and will not cross. 
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this. Comments appreciated <3


	2. Chapter 2

Virginia Mazzello's thin face changes, her eyes widen a bit as she sucks in a breath and puts a hand to her heart. "... Evening," she says with a blink and a smile forming. "My, but you look like Brian. You must be Gwilym?" Her tone is questioning. 

Gwil nods, smiling bigger to put her at ease. "Yes ma'am," he says. "Call me Gwil. It's really nice to meet you, officially." 

"Likewise," she says. "Joe's told us so much about--" her gaze sharpens then, and she interrupts herself. "Where IS Joe? Not that I mind this at all, but"

"He's, erm, asleep," Gwilym tells her, smile slipping now, and she zeroes in on that.

"What's the matter? Is he all right?"

"Yes. Well, he's--"

A man's voice speaks up in the background: "--Joe?"

"Yes, hon, I've called Joe," Virginia Mazzello looks over with a smile for her husband. "But I'm talking to Gwil right now."

"Gwil?" Joe's father, for that's who it has to be, pauses. Gwilym clenches a fist as his heart aches over how long it takes for another response. Joe's mother encourages her husband quietly

"Yes Joseph, Gwil. He works with Joe. He's the--"

"--Plays the guitar!" Joseph Mazzello speaks brightly, as though remembering, and his wife's face wobbles as she smiles at him, moving a hand to stroke the bit of soft hair in view of the phone camera as she tilts it down. 

"That's right, sweetheart," she drops a kiss onto his head. Then to Gwil, "Isn't it?" 

Gwilym nods and does his best to smile again, though seeing the pair of them makes his heart ache. He feels he ought not to be witness to this. "That's right," he says. "I knew a bit, but could never in ten lifetimes learn everything Brian May knows. He's a master!" 

There is a laugh from Joe's father, a sharp sound, loud and rich and warm. "Just gotta make it look good," he says.

A chuckle rises to and passes Gwil's lips unbidden. "Yes sir, that's exactly right." His heart thuds now as Virginia focuses back firmly on him.

"Where is Joe?" His mother asks again, and Gwil figures it will be easier to show her, so he turns the phone around and moves to show her son, curled up and conked out on Ben, who raises one arm after a brief moment.

"Hullo, Mrs. Mazzello."

"Hello," she says, putting names and looks together, and this boy is wearing a flower and vine-covered open shirt a la Roger Taylor. "Benny, right?"

He flushes with a nod. "That--that's what your son calls me, yes," he replies and kiddingly kicks at Gwil when the other waggles his eyebrows. "Most other people call me Ben." He wonders if that will be a problem, he shouldn't contradict a parent, especially not--

But "Okay, Ben," Virginia says gently, breezily. "Lovely to meet you as well." Her face lights up with recognition as Rami leans his head into view to greet her. "Rami, hello," she says. And then "what's wrong with my Joe?"

All three lads look at each other.

Hating to say it, but "We don't know," Rami speaks softly. "We know he's been tired."

"Run-down, like." Ben's nodding. "Worried." He winces after voicing that, but Joe's mother only nods in understanding. Good mum. "Today he looked woozy, like he couldn't focus. And, erm--"

"I had to carry him to his trailer," Gwil says. "We stopped rehearsal, everything's fine. Just...we wanted to answer and let you know he isn't feeling well. Might call a doctor."

"--We'll definitely call a doctor tomorrow if he's not improving," Ben speaks loudly, and everyone freezes as Joe makes a sound in his sleep. Murmuring, he breathes and coughs, a heavy, wracking sound that seems painful. Gwilym winces with sympathy and Rami's eyes grow wide as saucers. Ben leans Joe forward and thumps his back. "C'mon Joe, get it out, mate."

Joe does, feeling how much it hurts, and he's so exhausted he can't open his eyes. With a whimpering groan he falls back down onto Ben, curling one arm around his friend's neck and keeping his face tipped down so as not to breathe on Ben. He's coherent enough for that.

"We'll take care of him," Gwil promises as Rami adds

"I'm so sorry this happened."

"No, you boys are wonderful," Virginia nods to them. Her eyes had filled with tears to see them all clustered around her son; she had let out a sob as Ben was helping him. "He's got good people looking out for him." She sighs. "I'll let you go, just tell him Mom loves him." She blows a kiss.

"And Dad--does too!" Calls elder Joe from his spot below camera, and the three men can't help but smile.

"Right then."

"We will."

"Hope you have a good night, Mr. and Mrs. Mazzello. We'll tell you as soon as we find out what's going on with Joe."

"Thank you so much," Virginia says. "Rami has my number. Truly, thank you. In all this, especially what's going on here--" she has lowered her voice, but they know she speaks of Joe's father "...Joe's lucky to have you all."

"We're lucky to have him too," Gwil replies. Ben nods vigourously.

"We love him, so much," Rami says. "Thank you for sharing him with us."

Virginia laughs through tears. "Oh trust me, that's all Joe. He's always known what he wanted and goes for it." She blows another kiss in gratitude, though, before at last ending the call.


	3. Chapter 3

Joe feels awful. 

First, because he's sick, and they stopped shooting, and now the boys are in his trailer with him. They could all get sick too, depending upon what he's got.

Wardrobe just returned, he heard a banging on the door, in time with his heartbeat as he drifted into consciousness again, and Gwilym handed out his wig and prop necklace--where his clothes came from Joe has no idea. He had been out, but now he is awake. And his second reason for feeling awful is the breathing. Joe's breaths are coming small and painful and his head is pounding, feels like it's being squeezed between giant hands. His stomach is jumping and jerking as though he is going to be physically ill. Please, please no. It's dark, they're going back to their hotel, and Ben's still got both arms around him. If Joe threw up all over he would never be able to look Benny, or any of the boys, in the face again.

But "Up you get, mate," he's being gripped by the shoulders with strong warm hands, swaying, and "I can carry him," Ben's low voice rumbles through Joe's head and chest, and absurdly he thinks perhaps the vibrations could break up some of the mucus that binds his lungs in iron as he gasps. 

"Thanks, Benny," Joe croaks, and he gets a sweet smile in return. That soft face softens farther before Ben is gathering him up, Rami grabs his coat and keys and wallet, slipping on his shoes before Ben moves, and Gwilym is holding the trailer door before locking it behind them as Rami passes the keys to him.

"I've got you, Joe. We all have," Ben whispers as they make their way between rows of trailers to the parking lot, Gwil stopping to let people know what is going on when they see Joe and are worried. Joe wishes he could lift his head and smile, tell them he's all right, don't make a fuss, don't freak out, really, but he feels so weak he can't and Ben orders him to "Lie still." besides.

"We've got to head off the director," murmurs Gwil after talking to yet another concerned crew member. "Singer's not going to be best pleased."

Ben grunts, and "Screw him," Rami's voice is sharp and furious. "I'll tell him Joe is sick, and I won't work if he can't." Joe feels Ben's arms tense around him and he expels a wracking cough as he tries to speak and cannot.

Gwil says for him "Rami, mate, are you sure?" And Joe feels even more awful for causing this. There is already a rift between Rami and their director, doing this is only exacerbating it. 

But Rami is not moved. "Yes, Gwilym, I am," he says. They've gotten to the car Gwil took in, and Rami strokes Joe's hair once and adds "Take him to the hotel, don't wait for me."

Ben's eyes are huge and he inhales sharply "Rami--"

"At least talk to Roger, or Bri," Gwil offers pleadingly. "Let them know what's happened. They can get to Graham or Dennis; that way you're not standing up for Joe in there alone." 

Again Joe's stomach lurches. Or maybe it's his heart this time. They're doing so much for him.... In the half-light he sees Rami soften and nod, feels Ben relax, and Gwil's voice brightens a little. "We'll get Joe back and stay with him."

"Come find us when you come on," Ben says as he opens the rear car door and helps position Joe gently on the seat.

Rami nods to them all. "I will." His eyes widen as Joe gasps, leaning out of the car.

Ben lunges and Gwil gasps "Whoah!"

But Joe just looks at Rami with his heart in his eyes, fingers catching his friend by the arm, and Rami smiles. Pats Joe's hand. "I know, Joe. I love you too. And I'm happy to do this. We all are." Joe makes a face, his lips twitch, but Rami reaches out and cups his cheek. "I promise," Rami says, sincerity shining from his grey-blue gaze. He pats Joe's face and relinquishes it after stroking his skin. "I'll see you guys soon, okay?"

"Okay," Gwil nods as he gets in the driver's side, leaning back over the centre console to tell Joe "Strap up, mate." 

"Cheers, Rami," Ben adds as he situates Joe's shoulders before jogging round to the other side of the car and hopping in. "Right, Gwil. We're good to go."

And so they do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I read that the original director of Bohemian Rhapsody had an altercation with Rami of some sort. Not physical, but words were exchanged.
> 
> From what I've heard, all the producers and crew members were very supportive, so I want to show that :)
> 
> Comments appreciated <3


	4. Chapter 4

Rami loves his job, but he loves his boys even more. And he's so grateful for everything that has been done and is still being done to make this filming experience what it is - everything that's gotten them to work, that is. Unfortunately there are hiccups, and road blocks, and people who don't see the larger picture of how the things they do, or don't do, can upset the flow and schedule of production. 

Rami drags a hand through his swoop of dark hair and sighs, glad he isn't messing up his wig as it'd been taken back by costumers already. He ducks past crew members hauling cameras and clothes hangers and whatnot along paths between trailers and into the soundstages as he heads back inside as well, towards the area the director occupies when he decides to show up for work.

Rami knows every person has their own ways of doing their jobs. But Bryan Singer's way of working seems NOT to work. He's irascible to the point of being rude, and sets an example of lateness as he comes in an hour to two late every single day. Luckily the first A.D. knows what is going on and can get everyone started, and the crew is incredibly self-sufficient. They're amazing, every one; Rami has never met so many lovely dedicated people on a single movie set. But somehow that makes the director's behaviour even worse than it would seem if other people acted as he did. 

The leading man swallows as he pauses in front of the door to the director's office, for lack of a better way to describe it. Mostly just a space Singer had partitioned first week with a snarl not to be disturbed when within it. Rami hesitates outside and thinks on what Gwil and Ben had said--he ought to get in touch with Brian and Roger. But it's late now already, and who knows where they have gone; he doesn't want to bother them if they're already off the lot. Besides, the director should know that one of his stars is sick so as to take all necessary measures--to halt filming or push it back, redo previous shots, utilise a stand-in, whatever. Whatever they decide to do, Singer has to know. ...If he'd actually been on set that afternoon and seen Joe, he would be aware and in the know already, but Rami shoves down his feelings about that. Ire will not help, at least not yet. He's got to be cool and calm, collected to explain to the director what is going on.

Plastering a respectful smile on his face, though he cannot pull off deferential, Rami knocks on the doorframe of Singer's area. "Mister Singer? It's Rami Malek. Might I speak to you a minute?"

There is silence and a sharp "This had better be good, Malek. Come in and get on with it." Rami does, and finds the director, not with a script or any of the dailies in hand, running over anything, everything done thus far. No; he's leaning back in his chair and then saying, without standing or offering any greeting, "So, production has been pushed back, eh? You and your little friends decided to end shooting on your own schedule today?"

Oh, really? Their schedule? That's rich. "Well, sir," Rami replies slowly, dipping his chin and widening his eyes, lips pursing very deliberately around the words "We stopped to take care of someone who is sick. Joe. Mazzello. Plays John Deacon, you know...," His brows rise to see if there is recognition from Singer.

The man sniffs. Lifts an arm, almost shrugging. "--And that's my problem?"

Rami's mouth nearly drops open. His heartbeat pounds and roars in his ears. He thinks he now knows a little about what Freddie Mercury must have felt when recording 'Death On Two Legs'. 

"Yes," he says. "He's your actor, and our bassist. We can't shoot the film without him." Rami draws his shoulders straight and lifts his chin. "In fact, I _won't_ shoot the film without him."

Singer's eyes narrow and he rises, shoves out of his seat to stand and face Rami. Gets in his face. "Is that so?" He asks. "And who do you think you are to decide that?"

_Your leading man, someone who cares about his friend's well-being and the integrity of the film. Seemingly a lot more than you do._ "... I'm a fellow actor," he says instead. "And more importantly, I'm his friend. I know Joe would never want to put the film on hold, but he's really sick. He-- was trying, he's been trying to push through it." Rami chokes up, hearing again the harsh sounds of Joe's breathing as he slept on Ben's chest that afternoon. "But he can't. I--we need to take care of him." Not wanting to beg this man for anything, Rami stands in readiness, arms behind his back, one fist clenched. He stands the way a soldier would, even as he says his piece: "And frankly we could all use a break. I... think that might be a benefit for you as well."

"What about me?" The director snarls.

"Well, sir," Rami says slowly, voice dripping with acerbity, as he can't take this anymore, "Since you care enough to arrive hours after production begins each day, and to speak to everyone in such a strong manner--" _you shout at everybody,_ he means; the man had reduced a lighting girl to tears for not swooping the spotlights enough during a performance, even though he came into the scene late, as usual, and hadn't seen all the work yet. "--Maybe it would be a good idea for you to step back and decide what's most important here."

Singer's eyes bulge, cords stand out in his neck, and he shouts "Oh, you're telling me how to do my job?!" Before Rami steps back defensively as the other man reaches out, grabbing a stand that had been set off to the side and half-shoving it, half swinging it at Rami. The actor moved and ducked, luckily, and another voice now splits the air with high dudgeon and fury.

"What the fuck d'you think you're doing, Bryan Singer?!?" A high husky voice and stocky personage with white hair shoves between him and Rami after charging into the space. Blazing blue eyes stare down the director. "Try something like that again, I dare you."

"Roger," a slightly calmer tone emanates from beside Rami as a corded hand catches the actor's slim shoulder, that same voice murmuring gently "Are you alright, Rami?"

Rami swallows, eyes rising to take in the crinkled kindly ones framed by iron-grey curls. Brian May now stands beside him, and Roger Taylor is facing away, staring down the director with a glower that seems to make the other man wilt. Rami bites his lip and nods, leaning into Brian's side automatically. The guitarist's arm wraps around his back.

"--I think it's perfectly bloody reasonable to halt shooting a few days, don't you?" Snaps the drummer. "In fact, I think a week can give us enough time to get affairs in order to continue, right Bri?" Roger speaks the last over his shoulder and Brian steps up next to him, still holding Rami securely. 

"That's right, Rog," he trains his bland but intense gaze on the director as well. "We want our band to be healthy, don't we? ALL of the band," he speaks significantly.

Singer fumbles for words, deflating as he glares. "Y-yes, we do."

"--And it was excellent that Rami brought this to your attention, as the leading man and lead singer. Very Freddie, eh?" Brian's eyes twinkle at Roger, who nods with a jerk of his chin, arms folding over his chest. 

"Exactly. He's got good self-direction, wouldn't you say?" The drummer cocks an eyebrow at the director pointedly.

Singer looks daggers at his own feet. "...Yes," he grumbles.

Rog cups a hand to his cheek as Brian leans forward, widening his eyes. "I'm sorry, what was that? I didn't quite catch what you just said."

"You'll have to excuse us," Brian says sweetly. "Our hearing isn't what it used to be." Rami presses his lips together to hide a smile as Roger winks at him.

The director sighs. They have him. "Yes," he speaks louder. Eyes flickering over Rami and Brian and Roger, he raps out "Good--initiative, Rami, coming to me. We can-- take a week off, yes." He stares at them for a little longer, and then makes an excuse to hustle off. 

"Have a good evening," Brian calls after him. 

Rami's breath whooshes out and Roger pats his back with a nod and grin, the latter directed proudly at Brian for the cheekiness of his pointed comment.

The guitarist turns back with a warm and concerned expression suffusing all the features of hs face. "Are you certain you're alright, Rami?" He inquires worriedly.

"I--yes," the actor croaks, heart ceasing to pound. Rami blinks rapidly with thankfulness, eyes filling from the emotion of that interaction, and Bri rubs his back soothingly. "Thank you. Thank you both."

"Ah, that's alright."

Roger nods and intones, high husk now gentle, "Tell us about Joe, lad."

Brian dips his head, face soft. "Yes, what can we do to help?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I heard that Rami exchanged words with Bryan Singer about his duties as a director, and his failure to execute said duties. Thought it would work with an added component of him protecting Joe, and of course Bri and Roger hadn't left set yet, they were checking on things and asking everyone if Joe was all right :)
> 
> *Freddie wrote and dedicated 'Death On Two Legs' to Norman Sheffield, the band's first manager, "a real motherfucker of a gentleman!" as the singer referred to him. He stole money among other things, and the vitriol with which Freddie sang that particular song felt apropos to this chapter to me. What do you think?
> 
> Comments appreciated <3


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, Ben is worried about Joe.

He had been before, practically threw people out of the way to get his mate into his trailer that afternoon, but now as he and Gwil are driving with him, Joe has fallen into Ben's side, whimpering even as he closes his eyes and apologises: "Oh god, Benny, I'm sorry, so sorry, it's just my chest hurts." 

"Oh, mate," Ben wraps his arm around Joe's shoulder, seatbelts be damned. "You're alright. Is it whenever you breathe?"

"Uh-huh," Joe gasps and emits a ragged cough. "Ugh - it's better when I'm lying flat, but--" he doesn't have to say anything more before Ben is reaching round to unbuckle Joe's belt and telling him to stretch out. 

"Put your head in my lap, alright? There you go, I've gotcha. Gwil--" his blue-green eyes rise to catch Gwil's gaze in the rearview mirror. 

"Hospital?" Gwil asks.

Ben nods. "I hate to take him to bloody Emergency, they'll take hours, and we've got to call Rami, but I--" the blond swallows, shaking his head helpless in the face of Joe's pain. He strokes Mazzello's dark hair as he feels his cheek rest on one thigh. "--I dunno what else to do."

Gwilym is squinting, thinking hard as his thumbs rap on his steering wheel. Then his eyes clear a little. "There's an Urgent Care I remember passing one morning with Rami," he turns the wheel and slows, heading down a side road. "Recall it 'cause I asked him if that was where Singer would end up once Roger gets ahold of him."

Ben finds it in himself to chuckle, just a little. Even Joe's lips twitch as his cheek is pillowed on Ben's muscular thigh, which is big enough to make a pretty great pillow. He hates that he isn't feeling well enough to crack a joke, but he'll have to leave that to Gwil for now as his breaths come shallow. That, and as he shifts to lie on his back with his head in Ben's lap, facing the ceiling are what help his chest hurt a little less. Only a little. He feels Ben's hands in his hair as the other shifts Joe's head to rest more comfortably in the centre of his lap, so his neck is pillowed on Ben's leg. Ben's eyes are gentle and his face is worried, even as he tries to smile down at Joe. Who knows he looks like crap, he's pale and clammy and this is so gross. But Ben strokes his forehead and whispers "Looking good, Joe," to him lovingly. 

"You're lying," Joe croaks out. "I probably look undead or something, but thanks for the - confidence boost." He coughs.

Ben shakes his head, leaning down and pressing his full lips to Joe's forehead. "No, I'm not," he murmurs after withdrawing only a breadth. "You'll always look good to me, Joe. And we're going to make sure you feel better."

"Right now, because we are here!" Trills Gwil as he turns the car and parks it. "Everybody out --whoah, unless you lads need a moment," he'd unbuckled himself and spun round to see Ben poised over Joe and the latter looking up at him, hand automatically reaching to clutch at Ben. 

"Nah, we're good," Ben smiles even as he blushes a bit. "Ready to feel better, Joe? C'mon." He carefully unbuckles his own belt and helps the other man sit up. 

Joe sags into his side gratefully as Gwil reaches back and pats his arm. "Let's rock 'n roll," he quips weakly. And then, "Thanks, guys. For watching out for me. I--couldn't ask for better." 

Gwil's eyes are warm and sparkle brightly as Ben slides from the car and helps Joe out of it. "Of course, mate," he says.

Closing the doors with a push of one long arm, Gwilym continues "You're family." He puts a hand on Joe's shoulder. "Now let's get you fixed up and feeling better, whaddya say?"

Joe, whose lips are wobbling and head pounding even more as he starts to cry, nods vigourously. Ben holds him close and squeezes Gwil's arm tightly as they head to the door of the Urgent Care facility. Gwil sends a quick text to Rami, letting him know where they are.

"Sounds good to me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Benny and Gwil are knights in shining armor, and Joe is very thankful for them both :) he's going to get some medical assistance very soon.
> 
> Comments appreciated <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING for medical scare and panic experienced below

Gwilym holds the door wide for Ben and Joe, automatically putting his long hand to Joe's lower back and rubbing circles on it soothingly after he and Ben enter the little lobby of the Urgent Care centre. As the receptionist looks up, Joe expels another horrible cough and bows forward, clutching at Ben. "Ben, I--" his voice is gone, his chest feels like it is being sliced up by knives, like his lungs are full of spikes and he cannot catch his breath at all.

Ben's eyes are huge and he grips Joe's shoulders, pulling him to lean his head down for air, but Joe isn't getting any air, and Gwil's panicked voice is calling for a doctor now, and then there are people and equipment whirling around in a bustle of sound and colour, and Ben's carrying Joe without another thought, running into the back of the facility, following them. Praying for assistance from the professionals.

Gwilym's hands are shaking as the receptionist asks if Joe has insurance, and he spreads out his own card and information upon the counter. Dropping his phone and bumbling, almost blubbering "He does, but he's my family, please, use mine--" 

She is calmly but firmly telling him "sir, unless there is written documentation--"

"He's my brother!" Gasps Gwil. "Please, he's ill and needs treatment, and I live here so the benefits can come from me, my address is in London so the payment will be easy, rather than international. Please, I--"

"--I will vouch for this man's good character and payment abilities," comes a new gentle voice, and Brian May's long hand is resting on Gwilym's shoulder, telling him "We're here, Gwil. It's all right." _Or it will be all right,_ the guitarist thinks. It has to be.

Rami comes up next to Gwilym --he had clearly received his mate's text message, thank Christ-- as well and gives his information, eyes enormous and warm as he explains the situation in a far calmer manner than his tall friend had previously done. "We're actors in a movie together, and have trusted each other with our emergency needs. Joe's signed a medical release, we all have."

As the receptionist opens her mouth to say something else, a growl precedes "--Are you really going to waste your own time and ours with some fucking paperwork when you've got not one, but three blokes vouching for this man's character?" The high voice of Roger Taylor is sharp and short. "We'll fax over the ruddy paperwork if we have to, but just take the damn card!"

"Rog," Brian soothes, turning his head, one hand still on Gwil's shoulder as he reaches the opposite out, curling his fingers around his drummer's hand and squeezing it. "Take a breath."

"Sod off, Brian," Roger grumbles, but he does. Squeezes Brian's hand in return before he shifts and clears his throat. Brian jerks his head at him, and the drummer sighs and mumbles "I'm sorry. We're all just on-edge."

The receptionist nods, and looks at all four of them before saying "I do understand, and I'll make a note. We need someone's insurance on file, so I will take this card, but we have to go through proper channels. I'll have to speak to the patient himself before billing this."

Gwilym nods, heartbeat at last beginning to slow as he sees her key in his insurance card number. She is simply doing her job. "Of, of course," he manages. "I'm sorry."

Face softening, she reaches out and pats his hand as she hands the card back. "No worries, I've got a family too. Now, someone will need to fill out the paperwork and you'll need to sit out here until you're called back. I'll let the doctors know that--" at the expressions on Roger's and Brian's faces, the former staring at her and then the doors to the remainder of the clinic, jaw jumping; the latter with his head bent and soothing both young men, the tallest holding the clipboard of paperwork now and the shorter leaning into his side and murmuring something. All of that tells her, in whatever form or fashion it is, "--that the patient's family is out here waiting for him." She nods to the group. "He's lucky to have you all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, as I'm using my own remembrances from going to the doctor for a respiratory illness years ago to describe Joe's eventual diagnosis by a doctor. I promise, he's going to get better!
> 
> I must say that I am uncertain about the way insurance bills people who aren't biological family members, but I HAVE heard of release forms for medical information being signed by bands and the like, so figured it could also be the case for actors. Especially these boys.
> 
> Gwilym Lee is definitely that friend who introduces all his closest mates as siblings and in this case he's also trying to help Joe, make sure he gets treatment, as some medical centers won't work with a person if they haven't got easy-access insurance (at least where i live, there's a lotta red tape)
> 
> I hope readers will forgive any innacuracies about the nature of insurance companies. 
> 
> Comments appreciated <3


	7. Chapter 7

Joe's heart is pounding. He feels like his chest is being squeezed, constricted. His vision is going dark and he is beginning to panic until he ends up somewhere with pressure on his face and the coolness of air coming into his nose as he is told to breathe, just breathe. He feels as though he cannot, that his chest will seize up and his lungs stop him, but into his darkening vision appears a golden glance, a shaft of light. 

Ben's blond hair and his blue-green eyes, those soft round cheeks so much like Roger Taylor's--all swim into Joe's darkening, narrowing view. Joe tries to focus and hears his friend's deep voice saying "Joe, you've got to breathe. There's an oxygen mask on your face, mate. Can you feel it?" Joe nods because he does, and he sees Ben's shoulders lower, relax as his face does, lines at the outer corners of his eyes disappearing. Joe feels fingers stroking his hair as Ben shifts close to him and utters "Yeah, good. It's helping you, mate. Or it will if you let it. Can you breathe in, please? Come on." 

Joe nods, and does, and feels his lungs expanding a little. Feels the cool rush, the hiss of oxygen from the pressurized mask. He hears murmuring voices and notes other people as his vision starts to clear after he continues breathing. His eyes open to see Ben's relieved grin and he focuses now to hear "We'll need to get an x-ray of his lungs, see an image of what's blocking. We'll get a swab for the lab too."

Nurses bustle around him, and Joe keeps breathing, the oxygen soothing his body, air calming his seizing lungs. They monitor his heart rate and give the okay for him to go to the X-ray room after fifteen minutes. Ben offers to take him, and Joe accepts gladly, leaning heavily on his strong friend.

The x-ray room is chilly, as is the metal table Joe has to lie on. He feels so weak and moves so slow, to sit and remove his shoes, his pants, shirt - including everything metal. Before doing so, he looks up at Ben, eyes piteous. Thinking of his father with a shock of agony, how his mom must feel sometimes, and he wonders if his dad ever feels shame for having, needing someone else-- but before Joe can even finish the thought, Ben's hands are on the hem of his shirt, helping him tug it up. "I've got you, mate," he murmurs. And then with a wink Ben adds "'Sides this isn't any different from a normal day for us, yeah?" He hands Joe the cloth gown he has to wear, and pats his shoulder. "If you're good I'll take your clothes and wait outside," he says as Joe had pulled on the gown, shivering, before dropping his pants. Still wearing underwear and socks but dang is it cold.

Joe does his best to smile at Ben and wink back, whispering "I'll be waiting impatiently for you to come back in here, Benny," before he lies back on the table, which feels like a block of ice under him, making goosepimples pop up on his skin; and a technician moves the x-ray machine so it hangs over his chest, a metal bar that puts an image onto the black rectangle of film that the tech slides underneath Joe. 

***

Ben's head rises as Joe returns, moving slowly over to pull on his pants, staying in the gown as they head back to the room he'd initially been in, where a doctor comes to listen to his lungs and heart with a stethoscope and to ask when his symptoms started before the x-ray's film is processed and he leaves to check on it. Patting Joe on the shoulder and telling him to hang in there. 

A nurse swabs the inside of Joe's mouth, telling him to open wide so she can get at his throat for a sample to send to the lab. 

"Don't swallow, Joe," Ben cheekily advises, and Joe's eyes widen as he works as hard as he possibly can not to burst out laughing. Ben can't control himself nearly as well and is guffawing as the doctor comes back in. 

Joe does his best to breathe deeply without the help of the oxygen mask, smiling in response to Ben. Good old Ben. "Okay Doc, what is it that ails me?"

"Well Joseph, you've got an upper respiratory infection for certain. With the swab of the tissue going to the lab--once it comes back we will be sure, but from the signs and symptoms it looks like you've got a bad case of walking pneumonia. We can get you started on a Z-Pac, which will get you feeling better in five to seven days, and afterwards you'll simply need to recover your strength again." Smiling in reassurance and clapping Joe on the shoulder, the doctor adds "Keep your sense of humour as best you can, lad. It'll be a great help. As will friends like these," he is smiling at Ben and then beckoning outside the door. "Found a group of people who've been clamouring to see you." He steps to one side to admit Gwil, whose blue eyes are wide and almost wild as he lunges at Joe, only to stop and hug him carefully, holding tight.

"Oh, Joey, sweetheart, we were so worried. _I_ was so worried." 

Rami steps up too, lips ever-so-slightly trembling. His rich voice is warm as "It's so good to see you with some colour in your face now, Joe." 

Joe grins, or tries to as he holds on to Gwil, patting him on the back. "It's okay, Gwilly. The oxygen they gave helped. And hey, I'm still breathing, guys-- I'm keeping myself alive!" 

"Damn right," a high husk replies to him as his costars groan, preceding Roger with his fist raised in the air standing next to Brian, whose own features are crinkled with immense relief. They both had a frightening moment out in the waiting area, thinking of illnesses and Freddie, but Joe is going to be all right. 

"Thank you, doctor," Brian speaks feelingly, shaking the medical man's hand. "Thank you for helping our Bassman." 

"It's been my pleasure," responds the doctor as Joe thanks him too. "I'll write up your prescription now, we'll get it to the 24-hour pharmacy, and the official lab results should be in before the end of the week, so. Two days, at the most." He nods at all of them, staring now at the two members of Queen and fiddling with his clipboard. "I'm sorry, this is just a bit surreal," he says now. "I was a teenager in '82."

Brian ducks his head as Ben smiles and Gwilym enthusiastically bobs his head. "Ah, we all get it, don't worry," the dark-haired Welshman soothes.

"If you ask for their autographs," starts Rami, chin up and eyes stern, ready to protect Roger and Brian in this moment if they don't want a fan fawning over them.

But "That's alright," beams Brian. Roger nods beside him. "He can certainly have a moment after helping our dear friend." He dips his curly grey head and Joe cannot breathe for a moment, in gratitude this time, for having all these fantastic people here to care for and take care of him.

It's amazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Joe has walking pneumonia, a case of which I've had as well. Once the Z-Pac antibiotics were given, it took me five days to feel better. I got my strength back over more time. Couple of weeks. It's a bitch of an illness, tiring and painful, but I didn't need oxygen as Joe did here. The seizing of his lungs in my mind is from stress that he was experiencing, which made the breathing worse. Anyway, as promised, he will be fine! 
> 
> *I had to include Gwil calling him sweetheart as reference to the reply he made on Joe's birthday Instagram post for Gwilym. They're such good friends, as are Rami and of course Ben, though he and Joe joke about being more, of course ;)
> 
> And as always Bri and Rog are here to care about Joe and all the boys.
> 
> Comments appreciated <3


	8. Chapter 8

Joe gets his z-pac and Rami calls his mother, as his friend promised. Everyone is relieved when Joe's breaths become less painful; it takes a couple of days, but Brian and Roger keep breathing down Singer's neck to ensure he does not go back on his word of having a week out, off with no filming scheduled. 

Graham and Dennis have been contacted, and they are putting their heads together, unbeknownst to the current director, to locate a replacement with Brian and Roger's blessings. Roger had said he would give the replacement whatever they wanted, "just get this wanker off the set!" 

Of course, Brian is far more polite in his comments, but just as direct. 

Joe feels awful upon hearing of Rami's row, as it began to be considered, with their director on account of him. He wasn't the biggest fan of Singer in the first place; deplored his lack of professionalism and hated, HATED how he talked to Rami, but to hear that his friend had put himself in jeopardy of getting fired (and may have been, at least if Bri and Roger hadn't shown up and come in the nick of time) because if Joe couldn't work, neither would he, it hits Mazzello where he lives.

As does a response to a talk with his father.

The boys know about the FaceTime calls now, and Joe was fine hearing that they'd talked to his parents on his behalf. It's almost a relief that the guys saw his dad. Makes him feel less alone. "He's quite quick on the uptake, was joking with me," said Gwil. And it is Gwil who is taking care of Joe when his parents call for the first time during this illness that he's well enough to speak to them.

Gwilym hands Joe his phone and gives him the room, hearing his mate laugh as he goes out for a bit to give Joe privacy with his family. And after coming back, when Joe calls to him, looking so pale and small and sad, even as he smiles, Gwil cannot take that sight. He sits on the side of Joe's bed and reaches out, pushing his fingers through his friend's brown hair. It's gotten a bit longer now, the perm more bouncy. Yet Joe's curls are still tight enough for him not to be able to get to the roots with a good scratch, so Gwilym's long fingers feel wonderful as they card through his hair. Joe shuts his eyes.

"How're your parents, mate? I mean, I hope things are going well," Gwil says. Stops running his hands through his friend's hair and listens, blue gaze open as Joe talks a little bit about what's happening. He mentions his father's decline and chokes off, stops his own words. They are too painful to voice. But "You know what, Joe, I would trade everything I could to give your dad more time. To help him be well. I mean, you say he loves hearing about the film, and I could tell that just talking briefly with him. God, I bet he'd--he will be so proud to see the finished product, the fruits of your hard work, I'm positive." Gwil speaks sweetly, casually. Not making a big deal, no _"I am so sorry about your father being so ill"_; no _"I can't imagine what you're going through"_. None of that blathering on, just a heartfelt wish for his friend to have more time with his father. Joe's eyes widen and he lets out a breathless sound, a tiny gasp as their hazel depths fill with tears that immediately spill over.

Instantly Gwil feels awful; immediately he regrets making Joe so sad. Internally berating himself. _Shit, I broke Joe, Ben's going to kill me._ He starts rubbing Joe's back and biting his own lips, eyes widening, tears threatening. "God, Joe, I'm so sorry."

"No," Joe gasps out. "Don't--don't be sorry, Gwilym, I-- oh, god," he whimpers. Coughs. Squeezes his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears. Trying to smile even as he expels a sharp sound of grief. "It's okay, it's just me." 

Gwil is crying now too, and the sharp sound of anguish from Joe makes him automatically grab hold of his friend and crush him to his chest. Gwil rocks Joe back and forth, pressing one cheek to his hair, hand cupping the back of Joe's head as they both sob. 

Gwil doesn't quite register what he's doing, but he takes Joe's face in his hands and kisses his hairline and forehead and cheeks, quickly, softly. Multiple times. Joe closes his eyes and hangs onto his friend's wrists as Gwil keeps holding tight, his long fingers cradling the sides of Joe's head. "He-- your father loves you, mate, and he's still here. He'll--and he will stay, he'll be in your heart, Joe. Always and forever." _And I'm here too._ Gwil promises this inwardly. He kisses Joe on the forehead a final time before smiling through tears, looking into the other man's eyes. "Joey, sweetheart, I love you."

Joe buries himself in his dear friend's embrace, for once not having words. No words other than "God, Gwil, I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gwil and Joe are such sweet friends and I adore them. 
> 
> Also it's the holiday season and thus I simply must write soft moments between mates
> 
> Comments appreciated <3


	9. Chapter 9

Joe realises he's getting better, getting stronger every day, when the boys come to see him, lending all of their support. Rami talks with him about the parts of Joe's life, the hurts he can understand; and after Gwil held Joe and cried with him, showcasing all of his love, he returns and stays as a stolid support, rubbing Joe's back and holding him close. 

And Ben. Ben is a watchdog. He keeps tabs on Brian and Roger, their search for a new director for the film, and he keeps track of Joe's progress too, how he's feeling with his z-pac, if he's getting tired or not. "Mother hen Ben, Henny Benny," Joe teases him, but as Ben cocks a brow even whilst ducking his head, Joe knows how much Ben is willing to do for him and is immensely grateful for it. Even as he makes a joke. Especially as he makes a joke.

For through everything, the best and worst moments Joe has yet to bear in his life, these amazing men will be here for him.

They truly are his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves, this ended up being a bit of a coda and I didn't include a tenth chapter because I think all the care Joe needed here has occurred. I also wanted to remain respectful of the privacy of the Mazzello family in particular.
> 
> Please let me know what you think, and thank you for reading <3


End file.
